For, oh… I don’t know… 6 months now? We’ve been getting our salt out of the big jug that it comes in. No, that’s wrong. We were doing it before Slade joined our family… so, at least 7 months. And then about… let’s just call it a few months ago… we ran out of pepper in the pepper shaker. So, we’ve been using the container the pepper comes in. We’re kinda rock stars like that. Anyways, last night I decided that by god we’re going to be grownups and have salt and pepper shakers.
So, off we went to HomeGoods… my new found heaven.
Now, let’s set up the day: it had been a really really really good day. Really good. Wonderful morning. Great time at church. Beautiful.
And then we walked into HomeGoods and Zoe lost her sh*t.
Like, weeping and gnashing of teeth… lost her sh*t. Flailing on the ground. Sobbing. Over what?
I’m still not sure.
I can be pretty matter of fact in the midst of a toddler meltdown. Especially in the beginning. If I’m fresh and all my batteries have been charged, I can maintain a ton of composure and Love and Logic is the tool that I grab. We found a bench she could sit on about 3 ft away from me while I tried to grab a salt and pepper shaker. That’s when shoes were thrown on the ground. Another mom in the aisle smiled at me and said, “You’re doing a good job.”
Not gonna lie, I almost cried.
I looked over and saw Zoe now laying prostrate on the bench, shoes on the ground and very quickly escorted her out of the store so she could sit up against the wall. Here’s the thing: moms flock to stores like HomeGoods. I mean, people who aren’t moms also shop there, obviously… but a ton of their customers are moms. Which should mean that the looks thrown my way are ones of empathy and the knowing smile of a person who has been there. Oh, but so often… it’s not. I braced myself for the looks of judgement that were sure to come my way as my toddler continued her meltdown in timeout. But, you know what… today, there weren’t any.
I held my head high and waited. When shoes were thrown I gave up waiting for the meltdown to end and getting my salt shakers today. God bless the women at that store, because all I saw were smiles filled with compassion and humor. I smiled back accordingly. Instead, I calmly picked the shoes up and said, “Man, that’s a bummer Zoe. The car’s pretty far away and you’re going to have to walk with no shoes on now.”
The car was, in fact, pretty far away. We’d parked at the Target across the parking lot so that we could grab something to eat before heading to HomeGoods so I could avoid a meltdown. Ha! {I should say that 99.5% of the time Zoe does fantastic in stores. I was trying to avoid a “I’m hungry and miserable” meltdown.} As we walked back to Target, me holding Slade and a pair of bright pink sparkly shoes, and my daughter barefoot and dragging herself behind me with intermittent crying. I had this crazy thought…
“I drove all this way for a freaking salt and pepper shaker. I’m getting my salt and pepper shaker today, damn it.”
Look, I know that I should have taken my kid to the car right then. And, on any other day, I probably would have. But, I was on a mission and by god, I was getting salt and pepper shakers!
We faired slightly better in Target than we did in HomeGoods. Yet still, there were moments of laying prostrate on the ground. When we got to the register there was a lady who was inching towards her 3rd trimester behind us in line and I so badly wanted to turn to her and say, “Don’t be scared. This moment doesn’t define parenthood.”
Because it doesn’t.
It doesn’t even define my day.
Don’t get me wrong. It could… oh so easily. And, truthfully, sometimes it does. But, it doesn’t have to. I need to remember that today. I need to remember today. I need to remember so I can remind myself not to ‘jump in’ to the tantrum, that I can only control myself and my reactions… NOT my toddlers. I need to remind myself to let the natural consequences of actions do the teaching… and walking barefoot through a parking lot, and store, and back through the parking lot is a cheap consequence… especially when it’s 75 degrees outside. I need to remember that intentionally keeping my cool when crap is hitting the fan is hard, and holding my head high while marching my kid through the parking lot barefoot is hard… but it’s worth it.
Listen, kids are kids… and toddlers are toddlers. This is the land of meltdowns over the craziest things in the world. If it hasn’t happened to you, hang on… it will. And if it is happening to you, hang on… it will end. This phase will end.
When Brad asked me what I bought today, I told him “I bought the most expensive salt & pepper shaker I’ve ever bought in my life when it comes to energy expended to get them. But, I only spent $1.29 for each of them.”
Happy Wednesday Ya’ll!
